Do I Believe?

A question must be asked. Do I believe in the same things as I did in the past? I have read somewhere it says "doing the same thing and expecting a different outcome is insanity". Still everyday I wake up and look in the mirror because that is what I have done since I was 5, but to some people that is vanity? And since I acknowledge vanity by saying it, does that mean I believe in it? Do I believe it to exist because I just thought of it? So today I set out to test the unlimits of life and acknowledge the breaths I take for granted. This will not be easy because I know for a fact I cant control what controls the air that enters my lungs 100% all of the time, everyday. I cant control my heart to pump more blood or pump less blood on a regular daily basis....or can I? Maybe the real question is not can I do it, but do I have the time to do it? With real life circumstances like bills, family, work, sleep, sports, television, food, exercise, books, movies, news, hobbies, music, writing, thinking, complaining, talking, yelling, sitting, running, and standing(and those are just a few ideas off the top of my head!) that bombard my life everyday, I don't think I have time to worry about breathing.

I am just clearing my head for the day ahead. The various thoughts that stay in my mind or pass through are they always my own thoughts? Am I always going to be asked to believe this because of that? Can anyone see what you see and the exact way you see it? Will that ever be possible? Should I waste time asking questions to where the answer can be over 1 billion different things and still be true? Or is there only one certain truth? Is the only thing guaranteed in life DEATH and TAXES? Or is that just American lifestyle? Do they think the same thing in Uganda? What about Australia or China? Shit, who knows right? One thing has to be for sure though, NOBODY KNOWS.....right?

anonymous thoughts

What Music Means

What is music?
All I know is it runs thru my veins.
It brings me unmeasurable joy,
It helps me release all of my pain.
The flowin, and showin,
Everybody already knowin,
The way the words goin together
Leaves large amounts of pleasure.
Wherever, whenever,
You better? Whatever.
Get deep like a cellar?
Deep like buried treasure.
So down with the music,
like Im close to the ocean floor.
So high off the adrenaline rush,
That I just take off and soar.
So intune with the lyrics
People begin to adore,
While the other half starts to hate,
The pen is mightier than the sword.
So in love with that sound,
It just opens my mind.
Until Im my height underground,
This little light gone shine.
Every up every down,
Everyday I go thru it,
I might chop it and screw it,
But I gotta have my music...

Anonymous Thoughts

Plate Full of Tears

Even as I get older the feeling of the loss of you still remains. I will never forget due to my arm having your initials stained on them. Nothing really matters on a day like this, and everything else is pushed to the side. At least for a little while on this day, I get to fill up on your memories that I have. I get to play songs that remind me of the time. I have to do this alone, I have to let you run again and in my imagination be alive. You are beautiful and young is how i remember. If only one more day between January and December. Just one out of the 9000 plus days that have passed. If there was a chance that it could happen, I'd be 9000 million times more than glad. So just for today, permission is granted. I allow it on this day only, this one day out of the year. This is when I consciously sit down at my table and have a plate full of tears. Amen.

Is It You....

Who chases dreams and runs from nightmares?
Who looks for love and hates when its right there?
Who is has clarity in chaos and confused when things are perfect?
Who feels lifeless and content and alive when hurting?
Who is attracted to pain and repels delight?
Who enjoys the sorrows of rain, but loathes the shine of sunlight?
Who knows of this person, Who knows of this man?
Who knows of this woman, Who knows where they stand?
Who knows where to look, is the person is right here?
Who ever looks in the mirror, who will even see it so clear?

-Anonymous Thoughts

Another Day

As another day goes, As I get closer to woes
I will keep things inside, and make sure none of it shows
I will have a grin on my face, a look of content
At the same time replaying, the time that was spent
It will be over soon, this I anticipate
Just preparing myself for that sad little date
you will not be here anymore only the voices will remain
and the photos and the memories, I let them stain on my brain.
so the next time I see you, I will be happy again
but for right now I try to cover the state of guilt that I am in.

Just Can't Believe

I have just heard something, that I just can't belive
Did this really just happen, did this just happen to me?
Cut, hit, punched, or all the above?
Describes the closet feeling, like dragged through the mud.
Oh yea it hurts, Oh yeah I feel the pain
Memories so fresh and new, are now getting thrown to the flame.
To the fire they go, never ever to return
Cause see thats exactly how I feel, just like the memories I burn.
Man...I guess it has to go this way,
One day I will, but I just can't belive it today....

I can't believe it tomorrow, look at what is done
I used to have it all, and now I have none
It used to be two, and now it is one
down down down, is what I have become
why did this happen, I hear all the reasons
and I still had faith, still want to believe in
that time would have passed, would answer all questions
but if you keep making haste, now I have learned a lesson
I included everything, me and my seeds
sacrificed my time so I could spend, now look who took leave
as time goes on, confused my head Im rubbin
there is no more we, I wish that it wasn't....

-anonymous thoughts

Anonymous thoughts...

Because I am inspired to write, I often wonder what makes me do so. Is it a need to be heard because I felt I did not get the attention I wanted as a kid? Then I think about all the attention I have received from people who liked my music, and how I don't like all the attention I have received. I have written words and put them together that seem to amaze but I am amazed at the creation of it, more at the state of mind I seem to enter and the results that are born from it. Am I another 21st century storyteller, who paints the pictures of dreams and nightmares to get people to look up at something from a different perspective. Am I just another person who looks at the glass of water and says damn I'm just thirsty? Yeah I'm not full of life by a long shot

This IS Life

This is a life
Although it's not perfect
Everything one gets
Must know they deserve it
Good or bad,
in a sense they're the same
If not for mistakes,
There would be no gain.
If not for pain
If not for pleasure,
Against what,
Would we have to measure?
How can we know
What is the truth
Every experience
They speak to you
What we are now
What we were before
What we will become
And last What is instore
This is a life
A privileged thing.
One if not the best,
Most marvelous thing.
You have got to love it!

THE Color

The color of my skin
The color of my life
The color of my thoughts
The color of what ain't right
The color of what is wrong
The color of a curse
The color of a sad song
The color of what hurts
The color of whats ashes
The color of whats burned
The color of whats dirty
The color of the unlearned
The color of the death
The color of many plagues
The color of many crying
The color that many hate
The color of being wicked
The color of train smoke
The color of affliction
The color of being broke
The color of darkness
The color inside a cave
The color of me
The color of a slave
The color of Oprah
The color of Ice Cube
The color of MLK
The color of you too
The color of Ali
The color Booker T.
The color of you
The color of me
The color of beauty
The color of shame
The color of righteousness
The color of he got game
The color of hope
The color of the night wind
The color of love
The color of my skin.

-anonymous thoughts

There is a place

Deep in my mind there is a place
Where nothing is bad and everything is grace
Where amazing things happen like the sound of large crowds clapping
Where upside is down and everywhere is in one place

Deep in my mind there is a voice
Where the impossible is possible no matter the choice
You can jump up never to come down and smile never to frown
one word lasts forever never to stop making a sound.

Deep in my mind there is a vision
Where everything is free no existence of prision
The light never goes off and grass is green like a course of golf
Where everything can be found and nothing goes missin'


Deep in my mind is a place called home
Where everyone is there and no one is alone
Where once it gets started is a never ending party
Where its fun all night and all day and forever long.

I Like You

I like you but I don't know you
I want to but I can't show you
I see you but you don't see me
I need you but I'm not needy
If I tell you, you wont tell me
To tell the truth its a little scary
So I keep it hid instead
And confess them in my head
When your around I seldom frown
I'm always up and never down
When you are gone for you I long
all day long for you I long
nothing is wrong because you are right
nothing is dark because you are light
I like you even after death
even though you are not here
you have really never left.

-anonymous thoughts

Who are you?

Are you you? Are you me?
Are you us? Are you we?
We are you, We are me.
Seems awkward, the things we be.
Just may-be. Just may-not,
We say why, We say why not.
We say ok, it could be true.
If you are we, then who are you?


-anonymous thoughts

The Strive

I will not get complacent
I will keep my stride
For the ones not here today
Who made that struggle to survive
For the young black man
Who was forced to be a slave
That had to learn to read
When light was as dark as a cave
For the young black woman
Who got stripped of her children
That became the strongest figure
Like that of a tall steel building
For the old black man
Who has seen it all
He was forced to work for pennies
And held his tounge through it all
For the old black woman
Soul as sweet as peaches
Who walks now with Jesus
Like footprints on the beaches
For my sisters, brothers, and mothers
Fathers, aunts, cousins, and my mother's mother
For G's like my grandfather and all of the others
For every opportunity I strive
For the one's before me who struggled to survive

 - anonymous thoughts

I Feel

I feel...Well today I don't wanna feel.
The anger inside me, builds up in me still.
The pain that's residing, I don't like to feel,
just to think about it, it makes me feel ill.
makes me so low, to think about this
makes me almost lose it, and ball up my fists
but that wont change a thing, the life no longer exists.
I dont like to think about it, all I do is get pissed.
Im supposed to be happy, and glad she got the call home
how can I be happy, now that I feel all alone.

I feel...But today I don't wanna feel.

-anonymous thoughts

Choices

Man o man, the choices I did make
Some of them great, some of them mistakes
Before, it was "what did I lose" was my only concern
Now I know the truth, it is what did I learn
What came into my life, who came and went
The knowledge I breathed in, during that time spent
The insight I gained, that I had failed to see
That helped me figure out, that I am me.
The choices I make and the things I choose
Some things I chose, gave me the blues
Some things I picked, I really had no clues
But Im glad I have choices to pick from and choose.
Hopefully now on, when a decision is needed
I will see the whole picture before I agree it
I will feel the situation, make my mind and thoughts quiet
I will check every option before I deny it
I wont have all the time to examine all the specs
But have enough sense, and understand who it affects
There is no shortcut, no avoiding it right?
Everyday there are choices you must make in this life.

- anonymous thoughts

What I see today

Another day I rise,
To my disbelief to my surprise.
The circle I see with my own eyes
Giving away life as life passes by.
How warm it feels to feel you again
Where have you been my big yellow friend
I havent seen you since like 2010
I swear Im begging don't do it again.
Don't leave me here
Cause Im here to stay
Show me your light
Im tired, sick and tired of this gray
But hey, at least you showed your face today.
And I just soak it all in

- anonymous thoughts

Someone

I met someone the other day, I met someone six months away
not caught up in the beauty I see, not infatuated, that was not me
that was not me, I told myself. this feels so right, so I turned left
my thoughts burst through kicked down the door. Pulled me off track.
this I did not know, until I went back.
To this someone I met.

Is this my mind playing tricks? Another episode another session?
Deep inside I keep wrestling, I keep questioning the question.
About this someone I met.

Am I asleep? Do I need to wake?
I must be asleep, on this wonderful day.
I must be thankful, I must, I must be blessed.
To be able to vision, to be lucky enough to see
This someone I met.

Thinking about thinking

I have opened up my mind to the possibility that everything is wrong,
closed my mouth and just listened to the song,
opened down my eyes to see where i belong,
retraced my thoughts to see where they have gone.
how did i get like this, and become this guy
maybe the real question is not how, but why.
Why do I get like this and release whats inside
let me tell you it goes way deeper with every word I write.
just in a different way, I say, whatever that means
be it dirty or clean, its something yet to be seen
I know I know my door is different than yours
my window is bigger so my imagination, it soars.
Would I stop if I could? Would I quit without askin?
The answer is complicated because there is so much passion.
What is yours? You cant stop it either right?
Use all your might, try it tonight.
I'll see you tomorrow, who do you think wins the fight?

-anonymous thoughts